Embedded Files
Week 9: May 3- May 9
Week 9: May 3- May 9
Before you tell me how to do it better, before you lay out your big plans for changing, fixing, and improving me, before you teach me how to pick myself up and dust myself off so that I can be shiny and successful—know this: I’ve heard it before. I’ve been graded, rated, and ranked. Coached, screened, and scored. I’ve been picked first, picked last, and not picked at all. And that was just kindergarten.
Stone & Heen, 2015
EXPLORE
EXPLORE
Please do the following:
Please do the following:
Journal
Read the quote at the top of the page:
What does that quote mean to you?
What, if any, insights does this give you about coaching or giving feedback?
Direct Feedback
Direct Feedback
Direct feedback is different than coaching. This is a managerial/supervisory skill. Direct feedback typically comes from someone with power to someone with less power. There is a general assumption that giving this kind of feedback helps people learn and change. The research, however, indicates that not only is this not true, but often it has the opposite result, in part because what we call "feedback" is often not objective and observable data but the opinion of the feedback giver or other kinds of judgements or evaluation.
THINK/JOURNAL Think about a time when you received feedback from a supervisor or other person that was not helpful, that might have even de-motivated you. Take a moment to capture what that feedback was, how it was delivered, and how you felt and responded. This should be brief, but it is worth taking a moment to write down just these key points before you go further in the unit.
THINK/JOURNAL Now think about a time when you received feedback from a sports coach, supervisor or other person that was helpful, that was useful to you and helped you on something that was important to you. Take a moment to capture what that feedback was, how it was delivered, and how you felt and responded. This should be brief, but it is worth taking a moment to write down just these key points before you go further in the unit.
READ: This link goes to a reading about the research on feedback.
JOURNAL: thinking about each of the examples above, did you see connections between your experience and what was described in the article? Do you see connections between this article and your experiences of feedback? Note any connections you see in your journal.
How to give direct feedback
How to give direct feedback
Watch this video
Before you watch, think of a specific teacher that you work with who is not following a rule or policy and needs to change that specific behavior.
Example: There is a policy that teachers must submit their lesson plans each week. You have one teacher who never submits his lesson plans. It's your job to collect them and your responsibility to give them to your supervisor at a central office.
Sean's Example:
This is someone you need to give direct feedback to because the behavior results in real problems for you, them, their school or their students.
As you watch, think about how you would use these steps to design an approach to giving your teacher the feedback you need to give them.
Share with your WhatsApp group something that came up for you in either the quote or the video.
Journal: Meaning of the video
How does the advice in this video make you think in new or different ways about giving feedback?
Practice
Practice
There are only two reasons to give this kind of direct feedback: If someone is doing something well and should keep doing it, or if someone is doing something that is a behavior that needs to change because it has an noticeable impact on others, or is against policy or rules that you are charged with enforcing.
Part One: Think of a situation in which you need to offer someone difficult feedback. Read each of the four steps below and write out what you would want to say for each step.
Four steps to giving effective feedback:
The first step is a "micro-yes:" a question that is short but important. For example "I have some ideas, can I share them with you?" The question alerts the listener that they are going to hear possible feedback, and it gives the listener a sense of autonomy, they can say yes or no.
Say objectively and specifically what you saw or heard. This is not your opinion about it, just the specific observable information. Avoid "blur words" that can be understood differently by different people. For example "you are unreliable" is a blur word because we might define unreliable differently. But "you didn't turn in your lesson plans when you said you would" is a data points. Something that isn't arguable and is specific and observable.
Say how the data point impacted you. So for the above example, "because you didn't get me your lesson plans in time I wasn't able to include them in the W I have to send to my supervisor. Now I'm in trouble for not having them." This connects the dots between behavior and impact.
End on a question. Ask for their perspective or share your thinking and ask what they think about it. This makes it a joint problem-solving dialogue.
Also, in addition to giving supervisees feedback, it is helpful for you to "pull" feedback, that is, to ask the people you work with for feedback on your own performance.
Part Two: Now do the same process again for a piece of positive feedback. It's just as important to be clear, objective and specific when giving praise. Think of someone you'd like to give positive feedback to and write down what you would say in each of the steps.
Coaching Skills & Direct Feedback
Coaching Skills & Direct Feedback
What is missing from this model is how to respond when the person you are giving direct feedback to gets upset, disagrees, defends themselves or even attacks you. But, these are all possible outcomes of giving feedback that the hearer may not want to hear or agree with. This is part of why it is so important that your feedback be objective, observable behavior that has a noticeable impact or effect on you or others. If what you want to say doesn't meet those first two standards (steps 2 and 3) then you probably shouldn't give the feedback.
But, if it does, you need to be prepared for a strong, emotional response. How do you deal with that? This is where your coaching skills come in! Especially your skills in active listening. First, take a stance or intention of maintaining personal connection, don't be drawn into an argument. You want to stand side by side with the person and together look at the problem and seek to solve the problem. The behavior is the problem, not the person. So you want to maintain connection AND keep a focus on the problem behavior. To do this there are some skills you can use. To show that you are with them, listen with presence and empathy and, when the opportunity comes, reflect what you've heard. Remember you aren't reflecting YOUR view of the world, you are reflecting theirs. You might start with, "So for you, what happened was..." then you reflect what they said even if it seems wrong or feels unfair because what you are doing is giving them a chance to hear what they are saying. This step by itself can often lower the temperature of an angry encounter or shift the thinking of someone who feels hurt by the feedback. Think of this step as a focus on understanding their view.
Standing and Understanding
Standing and Understanding
After understanding, it may be necessary to do some standing. That means standing up for your #2 and #3 above. That is you need to say again, in objective terms, the behavior that is the problem and the impact that the behavior has. You may need to cycle through this process of hearing them, really listening and understanding before returning to the work of standing with the problem of the behavior and impact.
When the moment seems right move to step 4 with some questing. Instead of telling them how to resolve the situation you can ask them what they think the next step should be. Engage them and offer some control over the situation.
Sean's example PART TWO:
Step Five: Ask for Feedback
Step Five: Ask for Feedback
Let's now take a moment to think about step five from above. Asking for advice. Let's take a moment to think about all the feedback we get whether we like it or not. Let's think about all the feedback we get that we don't take or accept. So, for our own growth, let's take a moment to consider how to deal with the feedback we receive. Sheila Heen, for Harvard Law School, has a very helpful take on understanding the dynamics of feedback.
Watch this Video:
EXPERIENCE
EXPERIENCE
ONE: This week we would like you to have at least two conversations (in person with family, via Skype or WhatsApp or Zoom with a colleague/teacher/peer) in which you give them direct feedback. Remember that direct feedback can be about something good that you want to recognize. Make a plan for your feedback ahead of time by writing out how you want to approach each of the first four steps above.
If you are offering feedback that might be difficult for the receiver to hear, be prepared to shift to listening. When you know that the feedback has been heard and understood you can shift to asking a Questing question that involves them in finding a solution. Remember questing is designed to open up new possibilities, so be open to a solution coming out that is different from the one you might have in mind.
It is especially important in these kinds of conversations, especially if they are difficult, to remain fully present. Build on your listening and empathy skills, and practice using questing kinds of questions and then moving back to listening and understanding.
TWO: Ask someone for feedback about you. Think about who, why and how you might ask for feedback. Think about what you want to ask for feedback about. Then ask for feedback and notice how it feels to receive it and what you learn.
Sean's example PART THREE:
REFLECT
REFLECT
After your coaching conversations please fill out your coaching journal and your skill journal so you can keep track of your own thoughts, feelings and learnings in this experience!
FILL OUT REFLECTION FORM: (to be posted in your whatsapp groups)
PRACTICE
PRACTICE
ZOOM meeting: (May 7, 8 or 9)
Additional Materials:
Additional Materials:
SBI (Situation, Behavior, Impact) is simplified version of the feedback model above.
Stop – Keep Doing – Start is a different, even more simple set of questions for improving performance
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